Japunzel

Yeah. My fever returned yesterday after being absent more or less entire weekend.
And it's raining and my head as well as every muscle aches.
And everytime I try to swallow I almost faint with pain.
And I'm hungry but there's no food home (except for chips and chocolate).
And I feel extremely isolated and lazy cause I couldn't drop off Elin and I haven't been interacting with people (other than Ted and the family).

Basically, today my selfpity is justified.


Today I listen to Air (mostly Playground Love), Massive Attack and Moby (but only Porcelain). Good music for bad days.

So now I'm off to watch Heima (google it if you don't know it) and drink copious amounts of tea. Cheers!

I got sick yesterday. Fever. Not as bad as I thought,  The family is letting me rest and gave me dinner in bed (very nice of them). They even brought me tea.

So i've been home today too, and I'm getting better.

Ps.
I bought myself a lipgloss yesterday. I hope the other au pairs will be more understandable now. XD
But I won't join them in church this friday anyhow, since Ted is coming over! He's only staying over the weekend, or well friday-monday but it feels encouraging.
And I got my pretty sister to promise she would visit me aswell!

You should come too.

I was gonna go shopping today. Had no time to do that yesterday since I finished reading the second book about Abarat. And then I had to hurry away to french class.
But today's been foggy and cold and I don't really feel like going out. I'm a bit low.
So after my huge and VERY pleasant breakfast I just sat here. And found out that there's been a new school shooting in Finland.
I've heard people expressing strong emotions about this, everybody wanna know why. I read /b/ and I'm not wondering. He was a lonely man, 22 years old and his interests were (according to his youtube account, which has been suspended in the last couple of hours): guns, beer, sex. I'm guessing it's the same old story. Bullied in school, felt powerful with his weapons (he had a walter 0.22 which he seemed proud of) wanted revenge, etc. Started dreaming about a bloody revenge.
Sure. This is nobody's fault (meaning, society and government's fault).
What he did is his responsability (I don't know if he's alive at this point, the raports are both vague and contradictional).
But it's all the people around him, what they did, and didn't do that encouraged him.
I know that blaming one single website is stupid, but they sadly enough encourage this in several ways, not only literally.
What do they want, those shooters? What is it they want to achieve?
A school with dead students? I suppose.
To kill those who teased them? Possible.

But why in that case go to school and randomly shoot at everybody? AND more importantly, why warn people the day before?

I can only come up with one reason. What they want to achieve is what (sadly enough) most people want:
Fame.

They are nobodies, growing up in Nobodysville, knowing that they will be nobodies for the rest of their lives. Unless they do something drastic. This is their way to go down in history, in some cases even tributed as heroes. This is their way to be remembered, and it's sick. It's desperate.
It reminds me of how boys usually tease the girl they like just to get her attention. "All publicity is good publicity". And so on.

I'm not sure I had a point with this but I felt like writing it down, my thoughts. I feel strongly about whenever people feed of other people's misfortune, either by crying their eyes out going: "my friend's brother's classmate once drove past the town where it happened and oh my god it could have been me" or by encouraging it, and inspire other people to do it. It's insulting for those who experience true loss (parents, friends of the murdered kids). But also do these vultures show those nobodies that crime really does pay off.

See? That finlandian nobody even made it to my blog, which is supposed to be about Brussels.

So. Busy weekend for once. Very pleasant. And a lot more social than the last one.

Friday night is au pair night. Second time I go, and I was really in the mood. Ate fancy dinner with the family before, drank some tasty wine and then headed of to church. I was an hour late, and thankfully (or maybe regretfully) missed out on a few of the silly games. I took part in one and then it was time to chill with scones and tea. Sat down next to the girl who lives in my area and the girls she's become friends with. Everyone was being nice, as always, but I didnt enjoy talking to them. They were discussing lipgloss, going to the gym (Friskis & Svettis, of all places) and trying to go through a week with no candy or snacks.
I nodded and tried to laugh at the right occasions, but felt unsuccessful.
Afterwards was the mandatory night out. All the girls get together and go somewhere. Once again we went to Celtica, the celtic place (no way, I thought it was italian?) with the cheap beer.
I had a good time, talked a little with everyone and danced and all. But. But without a "best friend" a girl gets lonely rather easily. I need closer friends or "friends". People I can call the day after too, maybe just to watch movies and eat cookies.
The girl in my area went home very early. People slowly started dropping off, and those I felt I could be myself with disappeared and reappeared an finally I felt like leaving too. Took the metro home and talked a bit to Ted before going to bed.

Saturday morning was sunny and warm. The family went out for a walk. I knew that today the Neighboor Girl (au pair living nearby) and her gang were gonna go shopping and later catch a movie. But I found out that this weekend was the Open House Day. Not really the official name, but it reveals its purpose.
This day means that most official buildings, of all sorts are open. And several museums are too, everything free of charge. I carefully chose 4 buildings I really wanted to see.
A library, a tower, a jugend building and ..tadaa! The freemasons temple here in Brussels. Very unexpected that they would open that up to the public.
I drew little maps (all four of them) on to a (single paper of) Postit, and headed out.
The library was only available to enter if you were a group, and I didnt want to wait around for others to come.
The jugend building (designed by Horta) had a huge line, and I didnt want to wait in that either.
I was close to Schuman, and close to Schuman is one of those Thriumph Archs. I thought I should see that one instead and headed that way.
When passing Berlaymont (where the European Comission has its headquarter) I took a few touristy pics of myself with the building. A woman passed and immedeatly offered to take a picture. And I accepted.

On my way to the Arch du Trioumph (now I'm just guessing random french) a duo of two men asked me to photograph them with the tall arch. I felt like being as nice as people are to me and did what they asked. After taking a few pics of the arch with my own camera I saw a guy looking rather confused and asked him to take a picture of me. He spoke english rather fluently and we started talking. He was working for some sort of embassy, for the Chechian republic (or how ever it's spelled). We talked for 30 mins or so without moving from the spot, and he asked where I was heading.
I showed him my postit and he didnt seem all that convinced. But when I mentioned the Freemasons temple he immedeatly lit up.
So we went there together.
He had appearantly done some research on them and told me plenty about them. He also spoke french, so he translated what the guides were saying.
There were signs saying "No photographing" but nobody objected when I once again lended my camera to my fellow wanderer, and he took pics of me in the grand master's chair. Pics will come soon, I promise!
I spent half a day with this man but not until we had to part was I told his name. Weird but pleasant.
I got home, watched some tv and drew a little and then went to bed.

Sunday, today, was interesting.
Bar round with my au pair family. They were paying. And this was in the afternoon.
Sunny as hell too. T shirt weather, really. Wore my Chewbacca tshirt and a skirt. And that was too much.
Discovered many nice places includig book/comic shops and cafes and bars.
Need sleep badly now
nighty!

(sorry for being slow with updating, busy week)

the arch                             and my nameless companion sitting in the seat of all seats.

Had my first french lesson today. Those of you who know me well will not be surprised to hear I was late. I had forgotten my application at home and had to run home and get it.
And also I couldn't find the right street. According to my map I should get closest by taking the metro to the station called Louise, walk out on Avenue Louise and turn right after Galerie Louise. But I couldn't find my avenue and had to walk for a while before I found my school. I found the room I was supposed to be in and sneaked in. I looked at the surprised faces looking back at me and the teacher made a gesture for me to quietly take a seat.
I did.
Some kind of self introduction game was combined with learning the (phonetic) alphabet.
The lessons are entirely held in french. While this might seem stupid (since none of us know it) consider the alternatives. Us students are from all over the world. French is all we got in common.
The girls to my left is from Poland and the girl to my right is from Bangladesh or something.
I'm probably top three youngest in the class room and the teacher looks like an older version of Sidney Fox from Relic Hunters. She's very nice too. A bit like Stephania, but I doubt this one will cry when someone says/sings "sage nein!".

After class I picked up the kids, took them home and prepared dinner. Cause Monday = Ravioli Day.
And for the first time, tonight I was completely alone with the kids from dinner and onwards. I had to bathe the youngest one and put both to bed. The youngest was trying to scream her lungs out when her mom went to a parental meeeting. I washed her, but as I dried her she surrendered and turned into atleast an empty shell of her true happy self. Hard to believe that a litle girl can hold so much power in her lungs.
Her brother helped out alot ansd as a reward I let him play computer games.
And after a hard day's work I reward myself with a bit of Internet myself.
Good night to you all.
Ps. I'm going to Sweden at the end of Octobe for sissy's birthday.. Just need to get tickets. And soon I'm off to London (woho, Camden Market and the Museum of Nature Science!)


me (looking like a koala) and berlaymont, the commission's headquarter

Cause I sure don't.
I've decided not to answer the family's phone. Cause it always ends with a very poor "Je.. suis.. the au pair.. Anna.. et non.. dans le maison..."
I want to truly apologize to those frenchspeaking people out there, sorry for brutally abusing your language. (But why on earth did you have to make it so difficult?)
However, my french lessons begins on monday, and I must admit I'm a bit excited. One of the girls from the swedish au pair meetings will be in my class, which is a relief. If she's better than me, she can explain. If not, I can feel good about myself.

I do feel a bit lonely, I guess. Not really feeling like going out with the girls I've met so far. I realise of course  that I don't know them well enough to judge them. But I'd rather hang with locals or something. Basically, I need friends. Only ones that talk to me are those who are (poorly) trying to pick me up, and they do it in french. (But "Mademoiselle!" does sound better than "Ey bruden!"

I discovered tiny pieces of the city today. Alone. I shopped alone and ate alone.
But to comfort me is the fact that everything fancy in this town has my name on it. Espace Louise, Avenue Louise, Galerie Louise, the praline Louise from Leonidas. I tell you, if Brussels was in Monopoly I'd be rich.

Anyway, there are those who keep my feet on the ground, mainly Ted and also Dida. They talk to me as if nothing happened and we discuss things and laugh. I need this, so, thank you. Keep showing me silly pictures and check in on me.
Also, I miss my friends. Their laughter and their faces when they act stupid. No, I'm not getting sentimental. "I just miss you, that's all" as Robyn sings. Her  "Blow my mind" is by the way today's song.

I got creative today, sitting in the highest room in the building with the sound of rain against the window panes, after the shopping tour in town. As some of you know I have three creative projects atm, a music video, a kids short story in the shape of a comic and a more adventurous comic, or perhaps even a graphic novel. The latter is my jewel, I wont finish it in years, but it's the one I'm most keen on doing. Still on writing basis though, putting the plot pieces together.
As a matter of fact, I think I'll go up and do some more concept art or writing until my exhausted body crawls into bed.
Nighty!

For all of you swedes sitting inside with rain outside your windows and a cup of hot tea in your frozen hands; This is for you.

Today it was 29°C outside. Sunny all day.

I was out for a quest: Shop for a pair of party/not-as-sweaty-as-sneakers shoes, and a pair of pants.

I have visited around 50 shops and around 20 of them sold shoes. I could not found ONE single pair I could consider buying, cause whenever I did find a decent pair, for a decent price, they would simply not have bigger sizes than 40. I got 41. Or so I thought until I went to H&M. The only pair of 41's I tried on were too small.
After hours after fruitless attempts, I bought a skirt.

Now I'm ever so tired. Off to sleep and I'll write more tomorrow.
coolest jacket ever, and that's the skirt I bought.

As I had foreseen, this became a better day than the weekend (almost).
Sun was shining from early morning as I dropped off Elin (riding in her new baby carriage, much lighter than the old one).
Afterwards, the first thing I always do after leaving daycare (not struggling with a heavy child in a death trap on wheels), is put out my ipod and listen to rock music. No other genre does it for me quite as rock at that moment. Preferably Queens. It's fantastic.
So as I walk back to the metro with We are the Champions banging in my ears I feel rather good about myself. I have noticed how I love being around these kids. Taking care of them, feeding them, holding and comforting them. Wasn't sure I had it in me. They say that when the devil grows old, he gets religious. Maybe I'm growing old. I feel old.
I got home, took some money and headed out to explore the central parts of this suburb. Was really looking for shoes and jeans when I wandered around. Bought carbonated water in the supermarket, extremely cheap, compared to Sweden, 40 cent. and i didnt even buy the cheapest brand. And then I walked around. Ended up in another, HUGE supermarket, seemingly endless.
Sad part is that I found nicelooking shoes in there for 19,99 and I consider buying them. I take care of kids, read and I buy my shoes at the local supermarket. I AM old.
I bought blue plums and some kind of cheese snack. Old, old, old.
But people here (men between 15 and 35 and women 35+) call me mademoiselle, which is rather pleasant.
And another thought struck me at the huge supermarket. Instead of buying jeans I could buy black office pants. More comfortable.
It's official. I'm a lady.

Oh, and when I got home.. I sat in the garden to catch some sun, reading a book, eating my plums and drinking water.
This is terrible.
Thank god I got my Batman bag here with me. And the bag with the Rabies Kitten.
So tired, nighty!

The weekend is almost over, and I can't help but longing for monday.

I never did go out yesterday, I sat in and finished Hanteringen av odöda while eating soft orange cakes (of course there's chocolate on them).
Feels weird now on the weekend when I'm not working, but still live and eat in the family's house. Feel like a leech. But I know I'm here under certain agreements, and one of them is that I'm free during the weekend. But I still keep the kids calm before and during dinner and clean up after myself. However I do nothing else for them.

I didn't do much today either. Too rainy for another walk in the forest or the central parts of this suburb.
As a matter of fact, all I've done today is pärlplattor, some drawing and reading The Phantom.  At least yesterday I watched Wallace and Gromit.

However I'm not unhappy.
I realized today that the country I'm in is famous for:
*chocolate
*comics
*beer
*food

I'm basically in Paradise. Except for the weather.
But the book yesterday made me a bit homesick. I long for monday cause then the shops are open, and I got something to do.
I only brought two pairs of jeans with me (what was I thinking?) and ONE pair of shoes (again, what WAS I thinking?), so I clearly need to go shopping.
Off to sleep now, early morning tomorrow.
Nighty!

Hey, I'm back! With pictures, no less!
Internet broke down two days ago.

Yesterday I went to the Swedish Church for the au pair meeting. Around 25 girls and two boys :P
All dressed up everyone on their best behaviour.
One of the girls lived close to me, I'm gonna hang with her I think, she was a potential friend. So was also the girl I met on the playground the other day. Found out she was a fan of harder rock and metal. When she told me she saw Rammstein live in Copenhagen you could actually see my face turn green.

It was hilarous going out with these girls. Imagine 15 swedish girls in flattering outfits in a celtic bar filled with cheap beer and odd men. Beer was 1 euro/bottle until midnight. Crazy. It isn't even bad beer. Stella artois for example.

We're going out again tonight, I think. If I got enough energy for it. I lack that occationally. Feels like I do nothing but eat but I feel hungry constantly. I walk around, run up and down three stairs and walk around with a heavy kid in a carriage but seriously? Makes no sense.
And all the chocolate? You'll have to put me on detox when I get home. Seriously.
I feel baaaad. I want ruccola salad and whole grain carbohydrats. And tzatziki.

I have today off since it's weekend and I walked around in the forest, 10 mins from here. Not a sound but those from leaves. So peaceful. Felt better after that, but then I got home and ate (pasta and fishsticks) and now I feel bad again.
Breakfast bun with chocolate pieces. Have mercy.

I hope this will be a short one, my posts are just getting longer it seems.

Had a short day for once. Dropped off Elin at kindergarten and payed for my french class (not with my own money though) and then took the metro to the university to show my receipt.
This country loves administration. A paper for everything. A rubber stamp to verify the paper. And if you're lucky: A water stamp or a sticker. They took my papers and gave me a new one, and I start the 15th. I'm a bit excited!

I picked up Elin again at noon and we went to the park. There I met a girl my age talking very fast to a little girl and she looked at me pushing Elin's swing. Her protege wanted to swing too and we stood their, looking and laughing at eachother while swinging "our" kids. I asked the au pair where she was from but she didnt understand. She eventually explained, polish.
Half an hour later Elin still wanted to swing and then I heard people talking swedish. Another au pair enters with a tiny blond boy. When she looked at me i yelled to her in swedish:
"Where are you from?"
She gave me the intelligent answer in swedish:
"Sweden!"
I asked her what city, and it turned out we originate from the same town.
Guess I'll see her tomorrow, cause that's when the swedish church hosts its first (for this season anyway) au pair meeting for swedish au pairs in Brussels.

I didn't get a bank account. Next week.

And Ted said he'd buy a card reader so we finally can get some pictures up in this blog. Speaking of him, today's exactly one month since we met. Feels like a lot longer.

I try to learn one french word and one dutch word every day but i probably learn more than that.
Today's french word is ici which I believe means "here".
Today's dutch word is klant, meaning client or customer. I laughed when I saw it on a commercial poster, in swedish klant means some who's failing at everything.
Former french words of the day: demi (half), malin (clever. pity it's not the same in sweden) and dans (inside, in)
Former dutch words of the day: sap (juice, lemonade), aangelaangd (diluted, I think)

Yes, the only dutch I learn is from the juice package :(

I'm off to wash my hair now, and then go to sleep. Even though I got the house to myself for tonight. Too tired. Nighty!

I'm off to London the 10th October and somewhere later that month I should be in Sweden. And any weekend now I'm going to Gent.  When should I come to Amsterdam?

And Ted comes here soon :)

Today could have been fun, but it wasn't.

After going to the community administration office to ask for permission to stay and work here, I had to get to a distant metro station to get a monthly season card, which was impossible yesterday. Too many people standing in line.
But today I was on location early, so this should be easy I thought. I mean this is the third day that they are available.
I get my que ticket and it read 117.
I look at the board on the wall.
It announces that the fortunate person with nr. 21 is welcome.
I decide to go for a walk, I see others with Harry Potter-sized books reading outside the office.
So I walk for quite some time but then get nervous and head back. On the way I meet a man and he wants to swap ticket with me. He's got nr 77 so I get suspicious. But we compare them and it seems valid. Even more nervous I return.
Is it walid? Have they already passed my turn? Is that why he wanted to change? I can't come up with any logical reason. I enter the hall just to find that the number has, after at least 30 mins changed into ..22.
I go for another walk, another direction. I find a lot of stores and return a while later. By the station I meet the man who wanted to swap. He tells me there's no use in going down, they're only on 23.
I think "fine" and start exploring some more.
I ate a delicious burger at McDonald's (yes, I am ashamed of myself) with fried chicken, salad and herbs on the bread instead of seeds.
And I went into Leonidas store, Jonatan has strongly adviced me to taste their pralines. They had uncountable amounts of them and I couldn't decide what I wanted, so they gave me a praline menu. Rather cute, but I found not one, but three pralines with my name on them. They were literally called Louise, so how could I choose anything else?
I realised that the queing couldn't have gone very far so I simply took the metro home, picked up my ipod and my book (Hanteringen av ododa, av John Ajvide Lindquist) and read outside the ticket office, like the others.
4 (FOUR!) and half an hour after I took my ticket, it was my turn.
Imagine if I still would have had 117.

After that I intentionally got lost in the city. Took me quite some time to find the place where I started and I ended up in some dodgy parts of the town. Then picked up youngest one, she was behaving really well.

The metro played "In his kiss" and "sexyback". Felt slightly embarressed standing next to 100 unknown persons in bright light hearing Timbaland half moaning, half asking me to "come to the back" and "come here child".

Oh, one more thing. You can get drunk in the supermarket here. They do wine samplings.
Tomorrow I'm getting an bank account. Things are moving.
Tata!


buildings close to where I got lost.

Today's been interesting.

I was released from all my morning duties, such as taking the 2 year old to kindergarten, and instead given a special assignment: To await the delivery of a computer.
So I ate a huge breakfast (man, I really love suburban homes with several fridges) and cruised on the internet. Also managed to get a skype account.
Now, this computer was a Dell, and to be delievered from L'easy. Every swede who has watched tv in the last 5 years knows that PETER delievers everything from L'easy, but this isn't Sweden. At around eleven the bell rang, and there stood Pieter and Dieter, with nice shaving and nice posture and looked like they just emerged from Hitler jugend.
They made me sign an electronic note and it looked terrible cause I didn't write hard enough.
After that (and messing around, inspecting the house and finally doing some house work) I called the mother and informed her that the package had been delievered.
My new task was to buy myself a month card for the metro/bus but this showed to be impossible. Too many people stood in line, so I'll try again tomorrow morning.
My new phone lacks a SIM card, so I can't use it, and so my only way of contacting the mother was by walking into the building for European Commission and tell the receptionist that I needed to borrow a phone to call the mother of children whos father was working in the building I was standing in.
I didn't even have to finish my sentence, I was immedeatly shown to a phone. People are so helpful here.
After that I bought a waffle for lunch (tasty indeed!) and picked up the kids. It was the first time I did it alone so I had to tell the guards (yes, guards, this a very high security kindergarten) and show them my passport etc.
I had made sure a few days ago that I was in the database (of those allowed to pick up kids) so after a little searching they found my name and let me get the kids.
We went to the park and they played for an hour or more and it was rather nice.
They behave rather well.

And I've learned how to ride with a baby & baby carriage in an escalator. It's difficult as hell, but I got the skills. And sometimes the escalators are broke. That's when the real trouble begins. But people are so goddamn nice here, EVERY person that walks by offers to help lifting the carriage up/down. An old lady apologized for not being strong enough to carry it for me. The next person, a 40 something man immedeatly helped me out.

I still like it here.
Getting up at 7 generally and tomorrow isn't an exception. So, nighty night!

1. They like music. Everywhere. And they like it old school. The supermarket plays It's In His Kiss. The metro station plays Dancing Queen and Walking In Memphis.

2. The city is clean. Hardly any garbage at all lying around. And their metro stations are spacious (dunno if that's even a word but you get what I mean), and decorated with nicelooking modern art, with actual shapes and motives, not just random stripes.

3. The "belgian waffle" thing is true. I saw a waffle stand on a metro station. And I went grocery shopping today (absolutely the best way to get to know a new country's culture, isn't that true, Ozzy?) and I saw SHELVES of waffles. And chocolate.

4, They have plenty of organic stuff. The nature friendly trend is even bigger here than in Sweden.
Which brings me to the most awesome thing today: The organic cafe! We had lunch there. Delicious bread, divine mint tea (made out of fresh mentha), sandwich with parmesan and grilled aubergines and everything was organic. And beautifully served on top of that.
But the best thing there was no doubt their chocolate cream (think nutella, but without the nuts and made of belgian chocolate!). I think a part of me will die everyday I live without eating that on a piece of bread. Gotta buy that in kilos when I head home. My kind au pair mother bought a jar for me, standing already opened in the kitchen.

But I have yet to try their pralines. And waffles :P
I'm off to bed soon (I get up early nowadays you know). You people can still text me on my old number, I use my old phone as alarm clock.
And I need to tell you that all of you people reading these words warm my heart. It means you miss me, sorta :)
Right then, nighty nighty, I'm off to dream about chocolate in various shapes.

Ps. There's a huge spider in my bathroom somewhere. Please kill it when you get here, Ted. Thanks.

All this cause I asked for tea.