One night to be confused
For all of those not sure where I am, I'm back in Amsterdam.
I don't have much time to write, we're busy all the time, entertaining and maintaining ourselves.
I ate something very dutch yesterday, it was some sort of pastry or bakery product. It looked like fried cookie doughand I'm guessing that's what it is, but with raisins in it. And you sprinkle icing sugar on it. Very tasty. Called oliebol. Apparantly something everyone eats for New Years Eve.
I had a great Christmas in Sweden, met many of my friends, celebrated the holiday in a rented house with 24 other people inkluding my mom, my sister and Diederik. He liked the swedish christmas food by the way. Especially my mom's meatballs. I agree. Tasty stuff. Need to eat something now and I'll update whenever a possability shows up.
Oh and one thing. I'm considering playing World of Warcraft again :O Am currently playing on a trial account. Haven't touched the game for three years, at least.
*shivers*
Laters!
I don't have much time to write, we're busy all the time, entertaining and maintaining ourselves.
I ate something very dutch yesterday, it was some sort of pastry or bakery product. It looked like fried cookie doughand I'm guessing that's what it is, but with raisins in it. And you sprinkle icing sugar on it. Very tasty. Called oliebol. Apparantly something everyone eats for New Years Eve.
I had a great Christmas in Sweden, met many of my friends, celebrated the holiday in a rented house with 24 other people inkluding my mom, my sister and Diederik. He liked the swedish christmas food by the way. Especially my mom's meatballs. I agree. Tasty stuff. Need to eat something now and I'll update whenever a possability shows up.
Oh and one thing. I'm considering playing World of Warcraft again :O Am currently playing on a trial account. Haven't touched the game for three years, at least.
*shivers*
Laters!
Musik non stop
I'm back again. I'm back in Sweden and back in the blog. Me and Diederik has been here for 2 days now, and we've been quite busy. Friday we visited Oswald, went to Retro, drinking an dancing to genres we had never heard of. Yesterday we watched a movie with Dunér and later we decided to go to KB. We did, met some people from Kirsebergsskolan, met Sebastian and his working colleages and finally went home.
Today we've been walking around town and I've been buying christmas gifts.
Tomorrow we're going to my favourite café for breakfast with Sandra, Cornelia and of course Diederik.
On tuesday we'll head out to the christmas house, all in all 18 people. Big families, with boyfriends, ex-husbands and dogs. Until christmas day when there'll be 25 of us.
And right now I'm in the mood for homemade sweets.
Nighty!
Today we've been walking around town and I've been buying christmas gifts.
Tomorrow we're going to my favourite café for breakfast with Sandra, Cornelia and of course Diederik.
On tuesday we'll head out to the christmas house, all in all 18 people. Big families, with boyfriends, ex-husbands and dogs. Until christmas day when there'll be 25 of us.
And right now I'm in the mood for homemade sweets.
Nighty!
Everything's fine now/ Love is noise/ Bittersweet Symphony
SO, FINALLY.
Louise has left the country.
Today I took my bags (6 of them, another two bags I dropped off at Diederik's place last weekend) and rushed off to the train to Amsterdam, with the intention of not returning for at least some time.
Now I'm sitting comfortably in Diederik's room and the story got a happy ending ...for now *cliffhanger*
I'll update again when I'm in Sweden (family reunions and holidays are usually more dramatic than my days in Brussels ; >)
Louise has left the country.
Today I took my bags (6 of them, another two bags I dropped off at Diederik's place last weekend) and rushed off to the train to Amsterdam, with the intention of not returning for at least some time.
Now I'm sitting comfortably in Diederik's room and the story got a happy ending ...for now *cliffhanger*
I'll update again when I'm in Sweden (family reunions and holidays are usually more dramatic than my days in Brussels ; >)
I believe in you
I'm pissed again.
Got both kids now, this entire week. That's not a problem, as long as either one or both parents are home.
But tomorrow they're going to Cirque du Soleil (yes, AGAIN. The mom wanted to take the dad since last time his step son banned him.)
I was supposed to go out with the au pairs tomorrow. In stead, I'm looking towards working first 3 hours in the morning, and later between 15.30 and 23.00. This means 7h 30 mins of work.
Please keep in mind that when they asked me to come here, the deal was 3-4 hours of work each day.
I know that tomorrow is an extreme case. But today is an ordinary day and that means I worked between 7.15 - 10.00 and will work again between 16.30 and 19.30. If all goes well. Sometimes I work until 20.00 or later. Either way, that's at least 5h 45 mins. And they imply they want more tasks done, like taking out the glass to the recycling bins at the busstation. It's not very far, but in the wrong direction for any of my errands.
I feel used and lied to.
I'm gonna comfort myself by packing my bag (going to Amsterdam this friday to drop one out of two heavy bags there), and a cup of hot chocolate.
You know I hate whining blogs, so I'm gonna compensate this with some of the things I'm glad to have experienced here.
• My visit at Cirque du Soleil. Awesome and I was speechless.
• That I met Diederik again. The proximity that made it possible that we'd be together again.
• The fleamarkets. Very interesting mix of really old stuff (this is the kind of country where they save a lot of weird things for ages and then sell them) but also brand new (creative people selling jewelries and other tiny things) and stolen of course.
• The bakery products! This is, like France, a country where fresh bread is more important than fresh milk. And they take it seriously. If it says "chocolate muffins", someone didn't just add a spoon of cacoa. No, they double the weight by actually putting chocolate in it. Even if it's bought at the supermarket.
• Having so close to everything. I mean, this is a very small country :P The forest is a 15 mins walk from here. The weird cities aren't far either and this might be the reason why trains are so cheap. Going to Antwerpen back and forth during the weekend is 7 euros. Same as a taxi home a saturday night if I share it.
• Discovering that places like Celtica exists. Thought they were all in my fantasies.
• As much as I miss Malmo, it was nice to get some distance.
• See Amsterdam again.
• Having Diederik here (I won over him in beer drinking, I feel so awesome.)
• Despite my complaining: Studying french. Interesting language (I'm not saying I understand it or speak it, but I am fascinated.)
• Getting more acquainted with the dutch language (same here, can't talk it, but to be honest, reading, I understand more of it than french)
• Despite my complaints: Learning how kids function. Including how to change their napkins.
Ok, this should suffice for now. I'll write more if I need to keep complaining. Like tomorrow for example -_-
Got both kids now, this entire week. That's not a problem, as long as either one or both parents are home.
But tomorrow they're going to Cirque du Soleil (yes, AGAIN. The mom wanted to take the dad since last time his step son banned him.)
I was supposed to go out with the au pairs tomorrow. In stead, I'm looking towards working first 3 hours in the morning, and later between 15.30 and 23.00. This means 7h 30 mins of work.
Please keep in mind that when they asked me to come here, the deal was 3-4 hours of work each day.
I know that tomorrow is an extreme case. But today is an ordinary day and that means I worked between 7.15 - 10.00 and will work again between 16.30 and 19.30. If all goes well. Sometimes I work until 20.00 or later. Either way, that's at least 5h 45 mins. And they imply they want more tasks done, like taking out the glass to the recycling bins at the busstation. It's not very far, but in the wrong direction for any of my errands.
I feel used and lied to.
I'm gonna comfort myself by packing my bag (going to Amsterdam this friday to drop one out of two heavy bags there), and a cup of hot chocolate.
You know I hate whining blogs, so I'm gonna compensate this with some of the things I'm glad to have experienced here.
• My visit at Cirque du Soleil. Awesome and I was speechless.
• That I met Diederik again. The proximity that made it possible that we'd be together again.
• The fleamarkets. Very interesting mix of really old stuff (this is the kind of country where they save a lot of weird things for ages and then sell them) but also brand new (creative people selling jewelries and other tiny things) and stolen of course.
• The bakery products! This is, like France, a country where fresh bread is more important than fresh milk. And they take it seriously. If it says "chocolate muffins", someone didn't just add a spoon of cacoa. No, they double the weight by actually putting chocolate in it. Even if it's bought at the supermarket.
• Having so close to everything. I mean, this is a very small country :P The forest is a 15 mins walk from here. The weird cities aren't far either and this might be the reason why trains are so cheap. Going to Antwerpen back and forth during the weekend is 7 euros. Same as a taxi home a saturday night if I share it.
• Discovering that places like Celtica exists. Thought they were all in my fantasies.
• As much as I miss Malmo, it was nice to get some distance.
• See Amsterdam again.
• Having Diederik here (I won over him in beer drinking, I feel so awesome.)
• Despite my complaining: Studying french. Interesting language (I'm not saying I understand it or speak it, but I am fascinated.)
• Getting more acquainted with the dutch language (same here, can't talk it, but to be honest, reading, I understand more of it than french)
• Despite my complaints: Learning how kids function. Including how to change their napkins.
Ok, this should suffice for now. I'll write more if I need to keep complaining. Like tomorrow for example -_-
The Aftermaths
The family is ok now. Very friendly even.
But it's been a weekend and the weekends are always better. Friday was au pair meeting and afterwards we ended up having no place to go, so we went to a restaurant and had a beer. Me and Sanna went home early since we were planning to take an early train to Antwerpen. She did, with Felicia, but I took a later train with Emelie. That was fortunate, I hadn't slept too much during this crucial week. Me and Emelie walked around Antwerpen and the endless huge shopping street, determined not to enter any store until we get to the far end of the street (H&M was banned in our minds).
But suddenly I see it. That neon sign looks so familliar and it takes me seconds to realize what I'm looking at.
The sign to a New Look store. The store I've only so far have come across in England. Who won't deliever outside U.K.
I grab Emelie by the arm and drag her in. We spent hours in there. And I spent my entire Antwerpen budget in there. I'm so happy! ♥
Feels like I'd need an entire week to discover the city. One day was far from enough.
But it's been a weekend and the weekends are always better. Friday was au pair meeting and afterwards we ended up having no place to go, so we went to a restaurant and had a beer. Me and Sanna went home early since we were planning to take an early train to Antwerpen. She did, with Felicia, but I took a later train with Emelie. That was fortunate, I hadn't slept too much during this crucial week. Me and Emelie walked around Antwerpen and the endless huge shopping street, determined not to enter any store until we get to the far end of the street (H&M was banned in our minds).
But suddenly I see it. That neon sign looks so familliar and it takes me seconds to realize what I'm looking at.
The sign to a New Look store. The store I've only so far have come across in England. Who won't deliever outside U.K.
I grab Emelie by the arm and drag her in. We spent hours in there. And I spent my entire Antwerpen budget in there. I'm so happy! ♥
Feels like I'd need an entire week to discover the city. One day was far from enough.
Teardrops on the fire (what really happened and why and how)
I did it.
I resigned.
I'm not coming back. I feel good about this. Feels like I did the right thing.
But it was not a smooth talk. The son was here as well cause his real dad was sick. Considering that, I didn't think they were gonna follow their weekly tradition, to eat alone in a restaurant every thursday. That means I babysit thursdays, but that's just Elin, and they put her to bed before they leave. Now there was Carl too, which I was told to bathe and put to bed.
And suddenly I realise that I'm not gonna get my talk. They're gonna head for the restaurant, be gone for 2-3 hours and then get back laughing and tipsy.
My knees turned week and my heart started racing from fury. "How can the dad put me through this? I've been waiting nervously for two days for this talk. And now I'm not going to get it?" I thought.
So I told the mom simply that I wanted to talk about that cursed tuesday. She said a bit careful: "Whell I wasn't here and I haven't heard much either so... I don't know alot about it." I replied: "That's why I think it's important we talk about it."
She said fine and went to see her husband. I overheard. She explained that I wanted to talk about it, and he answered her: "Well I wanna eat, so, sorry." in a tone that suggested that the conversation was over.
She pleaded a bit and said something along the lines of her being hungry too, but that this was (at least somewhat) important. He followed her into the dining room and they sat down. I hesitated but sat down too.
Nobody spoke, everyone expected someone else to begin. I could tell that the dad was grumpy and stubborn, and that this could get nasty. Probably to be diplomatic the mom started saying that she didn't have enough information and maybe both me and the dad should tell our experiences. The dad replied before I had a chance to: "I don't see a point in telling anything, I thought that we had already talked about this." and he gave me a bitter look.
I said: "You were the one who said that we needed to talk because you didn't trust me and... I'm gonna say this in swedish," I said and turned to the mom. "That tuesday everything was fine. Elin complained in the morning of having pains in her bottom, but I didn't pay much notice, I thought she was just faking (she does that alot).
I picked them up, the kindergarten teacher changed Elin just before we left, everthing was normal. We got home, and I cooked for the kids (cause the dad was coming later due to some meeting). When we finally sat down and ate the dad came home. He takes Elin to bathe her. Afterwards he comes down and asks me: 'Did you hear Elin scream just now? It's cause she has a terrible rash on her bottom caused by a very dirty nappy that she's been wearing far too long.' And I tried to tell him about the teacher changing very recently and that I had no reason to check her again. And the day after I spoke to the teacher, she said that Elin had had a sick stomach and been pooping alot during the day."
The mom interrupted and said that the teacher told her this as well when she picked them up yesterday (thursday). And I said that I felt far too insulted by the grave accusations (that they didn't trust me as a caretaker and that I would have ignored Elin's need and let her go with a dirty nappy for hours and therefor caused Elin's rash) and that this made me finally decide to resign.
The mom nodded and turned to her husband, I wasn't sure how much he understood of my swedish.
The dad said: "Well?"
"She's leaving us."
His reply was: "So?" And he shrugged his shoulders. He reminds me of someone.
The mom asked me if I should stay until the 16th like plannned, which I intended, but after seeing the indifference in that man I just wanted to leave. She asked me to sleep on it. But my own mom helped me choose.
She told me to inform the mom that unless things (read: the dad) change, I will leave as soon as possible.
And this morning I did. I didn't think it would work. I thought she would say that getting some remorse from him would be impossible. But she told me that the man had confessed to her that maybe he had jumped into conclusions. I won't settle with that, but she promised she'd talk to him again. So the deal is now that he behaves and I stay until the 16th.
Then I flee to Amsterdam, to collect my boyfriend before we take the train to Copenhagen, and there change train to my hometown.
But tonight is friday (TGIF, really!) and we're going ice skating tonight. I really do need this weekend. And tomorrow we (the au pairs, or, well, four or five of us) are going to Antwerpen! Feels really exciting, we're going christmas shopping and exploring etc. They say it's a much "cooler" town than Brussels. The opposite seems impossible.
But I arrive to Sweden alot poorer than I expected. The question now is really: "What do I do now?"
Please comment on things, I like your opinions.
I resigned.
I'm not coming back. I feel good about this. Feels like I did the right thing.
But it was not a smooth talk. The son was here as well cause his real dad was sick. Considering that, I didn't think they were gonna follow their weekly tradition, to eat alone in a restaurant every thursday. That means I babysit thursdays, but that's just Elin, and they put her to bed before they leave. Now there was Carl too, which I was told to bathe and put to bed.
And suddenly I realise that I'm not gonna get my talk. They're gonna head for the restaurant, be gone for 2-3 hours and then get back laughing and tipsy.
My knees turned week and my heart started racing from fury. "How can the dad put me through this? I've been waiting nervously for two days for this talk. And now I'm not going to get it?" I thought.
So I told the mom simply that I wanted to talk about that cursed tuesday. She said a bit careful: "Whell I wasn't here and I haven't heard much either so... I don't know alot about it." I replied: "That's why I think it's important we talk about it."
She said fine and went to see her husband. I overheard. She explained that I wanted to talk about it, and he answered her: "Well I wanna eat, so, sorry." in a tone that suggested that the conversation was over.
She pleaded a bit and said something along the lines of her being hungry too, but that this was (at least somewhat) important. He followed her into the dining room and they sat down. I hesitated but sat down too.
Nobody spoke, everyone expected someone else to begin. I could tell that the dad was grumpy and stubborn, and that this could get nasty. Probably to be diplomatic the mom started saying that she didn't have enough information and maybe both me and the dad should tell our experiences. The dad replied before I had a chance to: "I don't see a point in telling anything, I thought that we had already talked about this." and he gave me a bitter look.
I said: "You were the one who said that we needed to talk because you didn't trust me and... I'm gonna say this in swedish," I said and turned to the mom. "That tuesday everything was fine. Elin complained in the morning of having pains in her bottom, but I didn't pay much notice, I thought she was just faking (she does that alot).
I picked them up, the kindergarten teacher changed Elin just before we left, everthing was normal. We got home, and I cooked for the kids (cause the dad was coming later due to some meeting). When we finally sat down and ate the dad came home. He takes Elin to bathe her. Afterwards he comes down and asks me: 'Did you hear Elin scream just now? It's cause she has a terrible rash on her bottom caused by a very dirty nappy that she's been wearing far too long.' And I tried to tell him about the teacher changing very recently and that I had no reason to check her again. And the day after I spoke to the teacher, she said that Elin had had a sick stomach and been pooping alot during the day."
The mom interrupted and said that the teacher told her this as well when she picked them up yesterday (thursday). And I said that I felt far too insulted by the grave accusations (that they didn't trust me as a caretaker and that I would have ignored Elin's need and let her go with a dirty nappy for hours and therefor caused Elin's rash) and that this made me finally decide to resign.
The mom nodded and turned to her husband, I wasn't sure how much he understood of my swedish.
The dad said: "Well?"
"She's leaving us."
His reply was: "So?" And he shrugged his shoulders. He reminds me of someone.
The mom asked me if I should stay until the 16th like plannned, which I intended, but after seeing the indifference in that man I just wanted to leave. She asked me to sleep on it. But my own mom helped me choose.
She told me to inform the mom that unless things (read: the dad) change, I will leave as soon as possible.
And this morning I did. I didn't think it would work. I thought she would say that getting some remorse from him would be impossible. But she told me that the man had confessed to her that maybe he had jumped into conclusions. I won't settle with that, but she promised she'd talk to him again. So the deal is now that he behaves and I stay until the 16th.
Then I flee to Amsterdam, to collect my boyfriend before we take the train to Copenhagen, and there change train to my hometown.
But tonight is friday (TGIF, really!) and we're going ice skating tonight. I really do need this weekend. And tomorrow we (the au pairs, or, well, four or five of us) are going to Antwerpen! Feels really exciting, we're going christmas shopping and exploring etc. They say it's a much "cooler" town than Brussels. The opposite seems impossible.
But I arrive to Sweden alot poorer than I expected. The question now is really: "What do I do now?"
Please comment on things, I like your opinions.
Let's talk
What I forgot to mention yesterday is that the dad said he wanted to have a TALK when his wife got back. All three of us.
A talk.
She's coming come today. Tonight we're gonna have our talk. Tonight I will quit.
It's not only about the accusations from tuesday. I've been feeling bad here. Like I'm in they way. And more of a burden than useful.
I know that's not the case. I am important and I know I treat the kids great. I ease them, take care of them and make them behave, without spoiling them. No candy, cookies or soda bribes. But it's what I've been feeling. And they don't realise what their critisism means to me.
I should stop whining now though :P
I've had plenty of good times too. Me and Sanna's been up to many things, especially entertaining eachother during the days. And the family's brought me to some really fantastic places.
Let you know later how the talk went. I'm off to Sanna now.
A talk.
She's coming come today. Tonight we're gonna have our talk. Tonight I will quit.
It's not only about the accusations from tuesday. I've been feeling bad here. Like I'm in they way. And more of a burden than useful.
I know that's not the case. I am important and I know I treat the kids great. I ease them, take care of them and make them behave, without spoiling them. No candy, cookies or soda bribes. But it's what I've been feeling. And they don't realise what their critisism means to me.
I should stop whining now though :P
I've had plenty of good times too. Me and Sanna's been up to many things, especially entertaining eachother during the days. And the family's brought me to some really fantastic places.
Let you know later how the talk went. I'm off to Sanna now.
Stein um Stein
Week from hell.
I really don't like it here anymore. The dad gave me a cold shower of unfair accusations. I tried to tell him the truth, that I hadn't done anything wrong, but I can tell he didn't believe me.
I later tried once again to tell him what happened, when I no longer was upset.
He was still indifferent and rude. And said that he and his wife are having doubts as to if I can truly take care of their kids. And that I should take that "into careful consideration".
I feel like a lot more than a should. That extra mile stopped being extra months ago. And yet I have a feeling of never being enough. So if the parents aren't satisfied (they should have said so) I'm out of here. As soon as possible. But if they want me to I'll stay until the 16th dec, like we agreed on. And then I just won't come back.
I'm gonna quit before these lunatics fire me.
I'll update with the details of what happened when I got time, probably tomorrow.
I really don't like it here anymore. The dad gave me a cold shower of unfair accusations. I tried to tell him the truth, that I hadn't done anything wrong, but I can tell he didn't believe me.
I later tried once again to tell him what happened, when I no longer was upset.
He was still indifferent and rude. And said that he and his wife are having doubts as to if I can truly take care of their kids. And that I should take that "into careful consideration".
I feel like a lot more than a should. That extra mile stopped being extra months ago. And yet I have a feeling of never being enough. So if the parents aren't satisfied (they should have said so) I'm out of here. As soon as possible. But if they want me to I'll stay until the 16th dec, like we agreed on. And then I just won't come back.
I'm gonna quit before these lunatics fire me.
I'll update with the details of what happened when I got time, probably tomorrow.
