P a r e n t h o o d
No I'm not pregnant. I had a nightmare.
. Luni säger: (12.05.03)
me and my sister were slaving for my parents, mainly my dad
. Luni säger: (12.05.22)
we were in the countryside, like in our old summer house
. Luni säger: (12.06.09)
he wanted us to prepare plants and we were crying and he was so mad at us.
. Luni säger: (12.07.08)
mom just tried to stay out of his way and let him do whatever to make sure he didnt get angrier
. Luni säger: (12.07.33)
and i was so scared but i knew me and my sister had to escape
. Luni säger: (12.07.48)
we had to get away, he couldnt treat us like that
. Luni säger: (12.09.07)
but my sister was scared and thought that if we just did what my dad told us to, he wouldnt do anything
. Luni säger: (12.11.23)
but then he did something that made her cry even harder, and there were blisters on her skin. i convinced her that we should sneak into the nearby summer house that he didnt have the key to
. Luni säger: (12.11.41)
and we ran, and started locking the doors from inside
. Luni säger: (12.12.49)
he noticed and ran around the building trying to find an unlocked door
. Luni säger: (12.13.02)
he was even mader, and had a twisted smile
. Luni säger: (12.13.20)
like the wolf trying to lure out the pigs
. Luni säger: (12.13.58)
and we were panicking checking all the doors. it was a big house and i realized we had forgotten a backdoor
. Luni säger: (12.14.11)
and there wasnt a lock on it
. Luni säger: (12.15.27)
my dad came in and stepped slowly closer. it was a lot like the time he pushed me against the wall. except this time my sister was by my side, trying to hide behind me.
. Luni säger: (12.15.55)
and then i woke up before he could reach us
. Luni säger: (12.16.21)
i didnt want to wake up
. Luni säger: (12.16.36)
it felt like then he could abuse the "us in the dream"
. Luni säger: (12.16.52)
i wanted to go back into the dream and save us
Though this was fiction made from my brain this is reality to many kids, of whom I know a few. I dont understand how anyone could be so cold against their own flesh and blood, someone they raised, fed and dressed.
There's a swedish saying: Man agar de man älskar, meaning "You strike those you love". There's an english saying: Spare the rod, and spoil the child. What surprisingly many parents fail to see is that what in fact is ruining the coming generations is the rod. May it be a physical or mental rod, both hurt.
To be afraid of a parent is possibly the most traumatizing a delicate child could experience.
Like walking on glass.
Today's song:
Rammstein - Spieluhr
Rammstein - Stripped
Rammstein - Benzin
Rammstein - Zerstören
. Luni säger: (12.05.03)
me and my sister were slaving for my parents, mainly my dad
. Luni säger: (12.05.22)
we were in the countryside, like in our old summer house
. Luni säger: (12.06.09)
he wanted us to prepare plants and we were crying and he was so mad at us.
. Luni säger: (12.07.08)
mom just tried to stay out of his way and let him do whatever to make sure he didnt get angrier
. Luni säger: (12.07.33)
and i was so scared but i knew me and my sister had to escape
. Luni säger: (12.07.48)
we had to get away, he couldnt treat us like that
. Luni säger: (12.09.07)
but my sister was scared and thought that if we just did what my dad told us to, he wouldnt do anything
. Luni säger: (12.11.23)
but then he did something that made her cry even harder, and there were blisters on her skin. i convinced her that we should sneak into the nearby summer house that he didnt have the key to
. Luni säger: (12.11.41)
and we ran, and started locking the doors from inside
. Luni säger: (12.12.49)
he noticed and ran around the building trying to find an unlocked door
. Luni säger: (12.13.02)
he was even mader, and had a twisted smile
. Luni säger: (12.13.20)
like the wolf trying to lure out the pigs
. Luni säger: (12.13.58)
and we were panicking checking all the doors. it was a big house and i realized we had forgotten a backdoor
. Luni säger: (12.14.11)
and there wasnt a lock on it
. Luni säger: (12.15.27)
my dad came in and stepped slowly closer. it was a lot like the time he pushed me against the wall. except this time my sister was by my side, trying to hide behind me.
. Luni säger: (12.15.55)
and then i woke up before he could reach us
. Luni säger: (12.16.21)
i didnt want to wake up
. Luni säger: (12.16.36)
it felt like then he could abuse the "us in the dream"
. Luni säger: (12.16.52)
i wanted to go back into the dream and save us
Though this was fiction made from my brain this is reality to many kids, of whom I know a few. I dont understand how anyone could be so cold against their own flesh and blood, someone they raised, fed and dressed.
There's a swedish saying: Man agar de man älskar, meaning "You strike those you love". There's an english saying: Spare the rod, and spoil the child. What surprisingly many parents fail to see is that what in fact is ruining the coming generations is the rod. May it be a physical or mental rod, both hurt.
To be afraid of a parent is possibly the most traumatizing a delicate child could experience.
Like walking on glass.
Today's song:
Rammstein - Spieluhr
Rammstein - Stripped
Rammstein - Benzin
Rammstein - Zerstören
S u n s h i n e
I now have my Roskilde ticket and it feels like I'm improving my drawing skills every day. Has been a while since I felt I improved at all.
And I got my temprary job prolonged, with less tasks.
And my plants are growing bigger.
I'm off to Amsterdam in less than three weeks.
Me and Hanne have passed some important steps in our friendship. Yesterday's random demonstration and late night spontaneous sunday disco only boosted this.
And Diederik and I are now planning our vacation together, looking up stops on the way (I guess on this trip the journey is the goal).
My sister's graduation is coming up as well as my mom's birthday.
And this pic isn't making this day worse.
I know people are rarely interested in sunshine stories, but don't worry, misery hasn't struck me for the last time.
Todays songs:
Lisa Miskovsky - Sweet misery (fittingly enough)
Marit Bergman - Snow on the 10th of may
and to break it off:
Pendulum - The Tempest
And I got my temprary job prolonged, with less tasks.
And my plants are growing bigger.
I'm off to Amsterdam in less than three weeks.
Me and Hanne have passed some important steps in our friendship. Yesterday's random demonstration and late night spontaneous sunday disco only boosted this.
And Diederik and I are now planning our vacation together, looking up stops on the way (I guess on this trip the journey is the goal).
My sister's graduation is coming up as well as my mom's birthday.
And this pic isn't making this day worse.
I know people are rarely interested in sunshine stories, but don't worry, misery hasn't struck me for the last time.
Todays songs:
Lisa Miskovsky - Sweet misery (fittingly enough)
Marit Bergman - Snow on the 10th of may
and to break it off:
Pendulum - The Tempest
B e a u t i e s
As usual it took me a while to write, but to be fair, I've had a busy month.
Diederik came to visit me and I've been trying to save my school grades AND my summer by working.
I'll start with writing where I am right now. I am in an office. A tall, ugly glassbuilding (which happens to bend into a square, and in the centrum of the square you can look down on people shopping in the sport store below). I've got two telephones and a computer (major relief). I'm a receptionist. I answer the phone and take care of the mail. But mostly I sit in this ergonomically designed chair (though the comfort could be discussed) and abuse either stationary supplies or internet. And count the hours until I can leave.
I got this job (a temporary such, standing in) through my mom, she is my boss here. It's comfortable and easy, but oh so boring. A bit like Brussels: "modern complexes", time wasting, but taken care of.
There is a tap with carbonated water, a fruitbowl and an all-kinds-off-coffee machine.
A golden cage.
And speaking of those, what inspired me to write today (I am sure you've noticed a slightly different writing style) is a blog. Namely a fake blog called black ascot. The blog is well known in Sweden (most of it is in swedish) and even more so since it was revealed that poor little rich girl "Erika" was in fact two fictional writers, creating her for the most brilliant pr stunt I've seen. The writers worked for the Malmö Opera, and they were basing "Erika" loosely on the show "Vanessa".
I've been reading all morning. Makes the hours fly, and "she" writes beautifully.
I just looked up the show and it stopped running in april. Scratch what I said about great pr.
On top of everything I don't sleep well nowadays. I don't drink coffee as a principle, but my extra strong Earl Grey isn't keeping me as alert as I hoped it would.
School's a bit so and so, not sure I'll pass that physics. On the other hand, I've been drawing some fantastic pieces and I am carefully optimistic about getting in to Game Academy. My "brother" who already attends it took a look on my pictures and consulted me on what to send in.
I've been considering for some time now to create a blog where I present all the stuff I create. Everything from beadwork to drawings and little things out of clay. Me and a girl that went to my comic class last summer have both had this idea, but unlike me, she went through with it. At Bomullsasken you can see some of her intelligent works/read her diary (all in swedish).
Right now I'm really proud over the scetch I did of Diederik which I recently colored in greytones. And I'm also working on a fan art drawing featuring Batman ;P
My last batman tribute ;P
Diederik came to visit me and I've been trying to save my school grades AND my summer by working.
I'll start with writing where I am right now. I am in an office. A tall, ugly glassbuilding (which happens to bend into a square, and in the centrum of the square you can look down on people shopping in the sport store below). I've got two telephones and a computer (major relief). I'm a receptionist. I answer the phone and take care of the mail. But mostly I sit in this ergonomically designed chair (though the comfort could be discussed) and abuse either stationary supplies or internet. And count the hours until I can leave.
I got this job (a temporary such, standing in) through my mom, she is my boss here. It's comfortable and easy, but oh so boring. A bit like Brussels: "modern complexes", time wasting, but taken care of.
There is a tap with carbonated water, a fruitbowl and an all-kinds-off-coffee machine.
A golden cage.
And speaking of those, what inspired me to write today (I am sure you've noticed a slightly different writing style) is a blog. Namely a fake blog called black ascot. The blog is well known in Sweden (most of it is in swedish) and even more so since it was revealed that poor little rich girl "Erika" was in fact two fictional writers, creating her for the most brilliant pr stunt I've seen. The writers worked for the Malmö Opera, and they were basing "Erika" loosely on the show "Vanessa".
I've been reading all morning. Makes the hours fly, and "she" writes beautifully.
I just looked up the show and it stopped running in april. Scratch what I said about great pr.
On top of everything I don't sleep well nowadays. I don't drink coffee as a principle, but my extra strong Earl Grey isn't keeping me as alert as I hoped it would.
School's a bit so and so, not sure I'll pass that physics. On the other hand, I've been drawing some fantastic pieces and I am carefully optimistic about getting in to Game Academy. My "brother" who already attends it took a look on my pictures and consulted me on what to send in.
I've been considering for some time now to create a blog where I present all the stuff I create. Everything from beadwork to drawings and little things out of clay. Me and a girl that went to my comic class last summer have both had this idea, but unlike me, she went through with it. At Bomullsasken you can see some of her intelligent works/read her diary (all in swedish).
Right now I'm really proud over the scetch I did of Diederik which I recently colored in greytones. And I'm also working on a fan art drawing featuring Batman ;P
My last batman tribute ;P
