The Fear
Sitting home, very frustrated. Mom brought home her laptop from her job and I've totally abused it.
But I need a computer for EVERYTHING. Applying for jobs, checking my schedule for school or to find numbers to working places where I'll apply.
I don't know how many jobs I've looked up and applied for. Not a single word. I'm frustrated cause the point of me coming back to Sweden was partly to get enough money to be able to prepare for a life in Amsterdam. The housing difficulties may have improved, Diederik is set on that task while I look for jobs.
I feel rather isolated from the things I used to know, and what I generally feel is rootless.
I have been drawing a bit, again I feel hopeful concerning the Comic art school, but I feel so.. Not only out of place, but out of time. Like I have to make a great deal of critical decisions right now. I don't know where I am or where I'm going. But do I have to know? Cause I do know WHO I am and what I want. The question is merely if I can have it all.
I got anonomous advice the other day. It said: "For god's sake, move! You're being too comfortable. You'll make it work out. And if it doesn't, you'll have a great memory of how you went mad for love in your youth to look back on when you're old and grey."
This and the feeling of being just a tiny step closer to a flat in Amsterdam is veeery comforting.
And meeting Sandra always cheers me up!
Today's songs:
Lily Allen - The fear
Sahara Hotnight - In private
But I need a computer for EVERYTHING. Applying for jobs, checking my schedule for school or to find numbers to working places where I'll apply.
I don't know how many jobs I've looked up and applied for. Not a single word. I'm frustrated cause the point of me coming back to Sweden was partly to get enough money to be able to prepare for a life in Amsterdam. The housing difficulties may have improved, Diederik is set on that task while I look for jobs.
I feel rather isolated from the things I used to know, and what I generally feel is rootless.
I have been drawing a bit, again I feel hopeful concerning the Comic art school, but I feel so.. Not only out of place, but out of time. Like I have to make a great deal of critical decisions right now. I don't know where I am or where I'm going. But do I have to know? Cause I do know WHO I am and what I want. The question is merely if I can have it all.
I got anonomous advice the other day. It said: "For god's sake, move! You're being too comfortable. You'll make it work out. And if it doesn't, you'll have a great memory of how you went mad for love in your youth to look back on when you're old and grey."
This and the feeling of being just a tiny step closer to a flat in Amsterdam is veeery comforting.
And meeting Sandra always cheers me up!
Today's songs:
Lily Allen - The fear
Sahara Hotnight - In private
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